Guardsman adjusting to civilian life
By Mary Jo Balasco - The (Rock Hill) Herald via The Associated Press
Posted : Sunday Dec 21, 2008 16:42:53 EST
ROCK HILL, S.C. — South Carolina Army National Guard Capt. Bill Berry spent his last holiday season on an Army base in Afghanistan, packing equipment for a mission to teach soldiers how to handle roadside bombs. During his 13-month deployment, the Rock Hill man often had to leave the base, sometimes for days, placing him in jeopardy nearly every day.
“The hair stood up on the back of my neck a few times,” said Berry, 47. “Any time you’re outside of the gate, there is danger.”
Berry and the 175 other soldiers of the 178th Engineer Battalion arrived home in May. This year, they will celebrate the holidays with their families as they continue to adjust from serving in the war zones.
Readjusting to civilian life can be fraught with problems for returning soldiers. Military officials say they may face issues that vary from mild to severe, depending on their experience.
And the adjustment for National Guard soldiers like Berry can be even more difficult than for active military soldiers. That’s because, unlike active soldiers, guardsman go home to communities where most people can’t relate to their experiences, said Chief Warrant Officer Terry O’Conner, reintegration program director for the South Carolina Army National Guard.
Although Berry is glad to be back with his wife and daughter, readjusting to home, family and work after living in a constant state of danger has been a challenge.
Sometimes, he doesn’t sleep well, and his wife, Rose, says he talks loudly in his sleep. He gets angry when he knows he shouldn’t. And he feels anxious in crowds and doesn’t want to socialize.
Hugs and kisses, even from Rose, can make him feel rigid because he didn’t have that kind of affection for many months. At times, he still feels like he’s in Afghanistan, where getting stuck in traffic could mean death. Over there, every new person is a potential enemy. So Berry stays on alert.
There is no switch to turn off Berry’s survival mode. And although he is adjusting, it’s been slow.
The mental strain is because of exposure to death, destruction and living in a constant state of danger, O’Conner said.
“When you come home, and come out of the war zone, that’s when you spend a lot of time thinking about these things,” he said.
Berry, a parks supervisor for Rock Hill and a retired National Guardsman, was called out of retirement in January 2007 to serve in Afghanistan.
He said the military needed him to train soldiers in the handling of roadside bombs. It was the first time in his 26-year military career that he was deployed in a conflict. He was especially concerned about being responsible for the lives of others.
In late January 2007, Berry left for training in Mississippi. He came home for a final visit in April 2007 before leaving for Afghanistan.
Rose Berry, 47, had mixed emotions about him leaving.
“You go back and forth between fear that something would happen and being proud that they are willing to serve,” she said.
Dani Berry, the couple’s 20-year-old daughter, hoped he wouldn’t really have to go. “They get called up for a lot of things and then don’t have to go,” Dani said.
But he did go.
In May, Berry arrived back in the U.S. Since he has been home, his wife has noticed changes.
“He is quieter than he was. He doesn’t have as much patience as he did before he left, and he doesn’t have as much tolerance as when he left,” she said.
Berry said friends have noticed changes in him. When he’s in a crowd, Berry said, he tends to keep track of everyone, because he still feels on guard.
One day, a friend was talking to him in a store as other customers walked nearby. Berry said he felt so overwhelmed that he abruptly left the store.
He returned to his job as a park supervisor last summer. Sometimes, he felt frustrated when people didn’t jump to action as soon as he asked them to do something.
“Being a captain in the military, when you say something, a certain amount of people start moving before you finish your sentence,” Berry said. “It doesn’t always happen in the civilian world.”
Despite his reintegration adjustments, Berry said he’s glad he served.
“It changes you as a person,” he said. “You’ve seen things that other people haven’t seen. I’m changed forever — for the good.”
Monday, December 22, 2008
Guardsman adjusting to civilian life
